Stories from the Field

Well, it’s me again. Last month, I mentioned the seriousness
of our profession, so this month I’d like to cover the lighter side of our job.

If you’ve been doing inspections for a while, you know that there are some stories we can tell to anyone and there are some stories we can tell only to our closest friends. Each month, we check the back pages of the ASHI Reporter to see “Photos From the Field”—
pictures that blow us away and conditions that might even match what we’ve seen ourselves at some time. And there are some really bizarre photos.

It occurred to me that maybe the Reporter should have a “Stories From the Field” section to share the serious, the funny and the bizarre. So, let me give it
a try. I’ll start with the category “Did they really
say that?”

A previous client referred a friend to me to do an inspection, but I’d never worked with this new buyer’s agent before. Well, you know how that can go. Both of you wonder how you’ll get along with each other and whether you’ll become known as the notorious deal- killer. As the inspection progressed with the usual twists and turns, the agent eventually pulled me to the side and said, “I know you are doing a good job, but it appears to me that you are just looking for things that are wrong.” Seriously? I guess the agent was under the impression that if you don’t have something good to say, you shouldn’t say anything all.

Then there’s the category “I brought my friend along to help.”

I think we’ve all been to inspections when the buyer brings along
a friend who “knows all about houses” and will be acting as the buyer’s personal advisor. One such incident happened to me not long ago and I’m still chuckling about it.

Once again, this buyer was referred to me by a previous client and
I didn’t know any of the parties involved. Here’s how the buyer introduced her friend: “This is my friend, William. He’s here to help me and to ask the right questions since he has bought and sold homes before and is very knowledgeable. He has a Ph.D. and teaches at the local community college.”

Well, you can guess where this is going. During the inspection, William asked me the same questions about everything in any way that he could think of to rephrase them, making the inspection drag on and on. Toward the end of the inspection, I’d had enough, so I politely shut down his questioning. I could tell that the agent was sympathetic and also annoyed with William’s unending questions about nothing.

Finally, we made it to the basement to complete the inspection. As I inspected the furnace with William at my side, I heard the toilet flush several times upstairs. I didn’t give it a thought until water started running through the floor right in front of William and me. William looked at me and said, “I thought you checked the toilets.” I thought to myself, “Yes, I did, William. You were there at my
side the whole time I’ve been inspecting, making sure I didn’t
miss something.”

I suggested that we investigate what happened and when we
arrived upstairs, William’s girlfriend was walking away from the bathroom. When I asked if she’d just used that bathroom, she replied, “Yes, and the toilet clogged and overflowed.” Get ready, here it comes. William, the Ph.D. college professor and experienced homebuyer, looked at me and said, “Maybe we should see if the
rest of the toilets will clog and overflow.”

“Are you kidding me?” was my first thought, but I brilliantly
responded, “Sure, I think she’s through, but William, if you want
to do the same and clog a toilet, have at it. I’m going back to the basement to finish my inspection.” I smiled and the agent smiled, but I really don’t think that William got the joke.

So, here’s my point. As inspectors, we see, hear
and experience many different personalities,
situations and conditions that make our jobs unique. Remember never be too serious, but
always do the best you can do and enjoy the ride. Life is too short and precious to do anything else.

Until next month, do a good job, have fun and be safe!